"Oh, I could never leave this poor family...what would they do without me? They wouldn't have a guard dog to sleep the days and nights away. Their children would be forced to use the couch to watch a movie instead of lounging on me. There would be nobody around to clean up the crumbs dropped on the floor. There would be nobody to give them the kind of unconditional love and loyalty that only an English Mastiff can provide. No, I must stay and endure these horrible sleeping conditions because I am sure this family could not possibly make it without me."
woof and slobber and hair and snores,