Sometimes when you plant flowers, you end up with just as many weeds as you do flowers sharing the same space. Sometimes when you raise animals, they die unexpectedly. That has happened to us 3 times over the last two weeks. Last night it happened again. Angel our first little house lamb died unexpectedly. We knew she looked depressed. We gave her medicine, but it is hard to treat something that is unknown. We spent a lot of time trying to help her pull through her sickness, but to no avail. We are left wondering what caused her to be sick and is it contagious to the other sheep in the flock. Angel and Lilly Bit were big buddies. Lilly was always with Angel and that causes us to wonder if Lilly might be next. Perhaps Angel got injured when we put all the sheep together in a small area to prepare to weigh them. Then you wonder was it our fault that she got hurt. The questions are haunting. They even come in my sleep as I subconsciously realize that my favorite sheep is probably breathing her last breath in the barn.
Even as parents we make huge mistakes at times. We recently encountered one of those too. We do the best we can and trust the Lord with the rest, but it still leaves you with a heavy heart. What if we had done this or that differently? Would the outcome be something other than what we have now?
I am an optimistic person. I almost always look on the bright side of a situation, but there are days that it is hard to have that kind of attitude. Today is one of those days. I knew that when we started this adventure days like today would come, and I thought I was ready for them. However, being mentally ready doesn't necessarily take away the sadness that comes with the losses. For us, the most important thing to do with the failure is to ask the Lord what can we do to prevent the same thing from happening next time. We want to learn from our mistakes so we don't end up repeating them again. Certain mistakes are easier to handle than others. A few weeds in the flower bed is easy to overcome, but losing an animal that you care for isn't so easy.
grace and peace,