Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Sharing a few thoughts from my heart...

I love reading about the Amish and their lifestyle. A friend of mine shared an Amish collection of books with me, and I devoured each and every one. However, one day I finished a book and I found myself feeling sad and discontented. After a time of reflection, I realized that I longed for the life style of the Amish. Let me pause for a moment, I do not want to embrace many of the Amish beliefs. However, I am quite enchanted with their simple life. I know in my heart of hearts it isn't truly simple, but just different than what I experience.

I heard a friend say one time that the grass isn't greener on the other side...just different. I thought about that for a moment. Our calf still likes our neighbor's grass better than ours, but that doesn't mean the grass is better or greener. I could spend a lot of time wishing that things in my life were different. For example, I sometimes wish my children didn't participate in sporting events. I don't see anything wrong with healthy competition so it isn't a problem of conviction, but instead it is a problem of time. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if we didn't attend sporting events of 4 children that we would have an abundance of time to give to this farm. On the other end of the spectrum, I am thankful for what sports have brought into our children's lives. I believe that in 2 of our kids imparticular, that sports have helped create much character in their lives. For our third son, sports has been a wonderful growing experience that brought him out of his shell.

I sometimes find myself wishing for a different home...you know one more like the Amish style home. I would love to live in a home with that much ambiance. On the other hand, I sure do enjoy my fresh ground coffee brewed in my electric coffee pot! I also enjoy the air conditioner on a nice summer day. When we first moved to Tennessee, we rented a cabin that had a wood stove for heat. It was all fun and games until the fire went out. You see, I could keep the home fires burning (usually), but I couldn't ever start a fire from scratch. The novelty of heating with a wood stove wore off real quick. The mornings were unbearably cold. We spent a lot of time huddled in the living room in front of the wood stove trying to stay warm.

One day I came to the realization that I could spend my life wishing for some other pasture to eat from, but I would rather spend my life enjoying the pasture God gave to me. I am so thankful for all that God has done in my life. I still would love a community like the Amish share, but I am so thankful for the family that God has placed me into. I have a husband that is more wonderful than words could express. He is a Godly man that protects me as if I were his most valuable treasure. He is a wonderful father to our children. I am so very blessed.... so today I want to enjoy the journey that God has given to me. I want to enjoy the grass in my pasture...not the grass in the neighbor's pasture. After all, once the calf has eaten from the neighbor's pasture long enough, she realizes it is just grass. Then she is forced to look for another pasture that might have greener grass than the previous pasture. I don't want to be like the calf that moves from one pasture to another eating the same grass, but wishing it were different.
grace and peace,


ChickenMama said...

I've struggled with these very things also. I'm right there with you. While speaking FROM your heart, you are speaking TO mine.

It also makes me feel better to hear that you can't start a fire either. I can barely keep our wood-burning stove burning after my husband starts it and it takes me a whole box of firestarters to get one going. Even then, I will likely have it go out on me within a few hours if Joe hasn't returned. I understand the procedures and, from all outward appearances, I do the same things Joe does, but mine don't burn. Maybe it's an X chromosome thing. :-)

Dreamer said...

Discontentment. It seems to be an epidemic. I wrote a post about the need to be content with my life rather than wishing after dreams, although it was not as eloquent as this post. It more a cry for help really. Then I read a post similar in topic on The Serven Clan blog.

Thank you for your thoughts on the matter that you expressed so well.

TnFullQuiver said...

It must be the X chromosome. My sons can even build a fire better than me. I too do it just like they do, but to no avail.

And yes, Dreamer, dicontement does seem to be an epidemic. I remember a psalm that states something like the lines have fallen to me in pleasant places...I am sure David didn't always FEEL like that, but that was in his heart anyway.
grace and peace,