I woke early this morning and I quickly threw together some homemade pancakes and sausage for breakfast while I was downing my first cup of morning java. After breakfast, all the kids who attend school loaded into his truck and I drove them the few minutes to school. While I was driving home, I was thinking of having another cup of coffee but at a much slower pace. I wanted to sit and enjoy it this time. I was even thinking about sitting outside and enjoying the cool of the morning before starting Seth's school with him. I was comforted by the hum of his big red truck listening to the diesel roar while I drove down the road. I smiled because I knew my dad would approve of his big red truck hauling grand kids to school and then hauling my husband to work shortly there after. Then it dawned on me what day it was, and I expected tears to stream from my eyes. Instead, I was rewarded with a smile on my face. I already knew what I wanted to do to mark this day, and I have made plans to fulfill my thoughts. I have researched and this afternoon I will be purchasing a rose bush to plant in my own yard as a token of my love for my dad. It is a silent way to honor this man who meant so very much to me, and who has been gone from my life for four years as of today. Yes, I want a red climbing rose. I want it to be a variety that smells delightful and brings a smile to my face every time I walk past it. As I look at my mountains all around me, I know he would be pleased with the place that we call home. After all, he loved Tennessee. As I look at my children, I also know he would be more than pleased. I also know that he would have enjoyed them in their teenage years, but that is something I can only imagine. I took a few minutes this morning to read some of the journal that I kept during the last year of his life. In honor of my dad, I will leave you with a few of my thoughts that I wrote four years ago...
"There are so many things I could write, but it is time to close this chapter and move forward to the next one. My father lives on in my heart and memories, but he also lives on in myself as well as my children." (August 27, 2005)
grace and peace,