Wednesday, April 28, 2010

An Explanation for My Silence

These last few weeks have left me with very little to say.  That is why my posts have been sparse.  Remember when I used to post faithfully everyday?    I could share all the hard stuff about daily life in our world, but that somehow doesn't seem appropriate.  I could share new and exciting recipes, but I am not cooking things like that now.  I am back to my grandmother's roots of just plain and simple Southern food.  It keeps the grocery bill down that way.  My mother once told me that there was a Chinese curse that said, "May your life be interesting."  I have to admit that I can't stand the roller coaster ride of life that we have found ourselves on during these past few months.  I like things simple, and these days have been anything but simple.  They are down right stressful. 

I know that we aren't the only family feeling the pinch and uncertainties.  We are better off than most because we know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Michael will be starting work as soon as his clearance is approved.  How long will that take?  A few weeks, a month or two...we don't know.  If we had some answers to our many logistical questions, that would help a lot with the stress levels.

I have missed the hope of my garden this year.  Planting a garden for me is more than harvesting food.  It is the anticipation of what will grow in just a few weeks.  It represents hope as well as beauty.  My garden has always been my sanctuary and quiet place.  Kids don't usually follow me down to the garden because they know I will put them to work.  The garden also brings delight to the taste buds.  My broccoli and cabbage and lettuces are all doing well.  I just don't know if we will be here to enjoy much  of their production.  I have put a halt on other garden plans for this summer.  I can't bear the thought of doing all of the work and not having hope that we will be here to enjoy it.   

I never want to be a downer for people who come here to read.  I have spent my whole life encouraging others.  I believe that has been a gift given to me from the Lord.  It is very unnatural for me to complain or wallow in self pity.  One of my mottoes in life is "Take your lemons and make some lemon aide."  Some days that is easier than others. But for today, that is exactly what I plan  on doing.

grace and peace,


Carmen S. said...

BIG ((HUGS)) You are never a "downer" Julie, I come to visit because I enjoy you and your writings and where you live or what you do in the garden won't change that. I am keeping your family in my prayers for all of these changes to proceed quickly so you can get back to the more calm, less stressful life you enjoy. I'm the same way, simpleness all the way for me, and with becoming a "military mom" in just 2 months now, I have alot of changes coming too and am hoping I have the strength to get through them, but all we can do is hold on for the ride, and try to find some peace and joy in every day:)

Andrea Cherie said...

Julie- I feel you in the kitchen department. I've struggled to find joy in cooking the same basic things over and over in order to stay under $40 a week right now. We haven't had anyone over to eat now for at least 6 weeks, and it used to be 2x per week we'd have friends over. It's hard, I do my best to be patient as I know it's just a season we're in.

Still praying for you often!

~ Jackie said...

Julie ~ I am sort of in the same boat you are. We are hopefully anticipating a move this summer. My "old garden" is now too shaded by an Oak tree to be productive, and anticipating a move I don't want to put the time or energy into a "new" garden, not even raised beds. So I have a BUCKET GARDEN this year. I turned rubbermaid tubs and 5-gallon paint buckets into "earthbox" style gardens. I have lettuce, radishes, greens, squash, tomatoes, and cukes so far. After constructing a half dozen more buckets, I plan to have green beans, lima beans, and peppers, too.
Yes, I am intent on making my husband load them up and take them with us. In the event that it is an impossible option, I have plenty of gardening friends that would be willing to give them a good home, they are incredibly portable. I just hope that if I do have to give them away, that I can enjoy at least some of the harvest before that happens. :)

idigpotatoes said...

my husbands grandmother, emailed me once when she misread my email signature. and her quote was my guiding light during many long days.
she told me that we are all pilgrims here on earth and we must learn to take care of each other. I come here to read about your life, because it is just that life. although we cant all reach out and physically hold you up. i think you are in a lot of hearts right now. be easy with yourself during these hard days and focus on the little things that you enjoy. I have a little stem of lilac on my desk right now that my 5 year old brought in...its smells so great and reminds me of my grandma and my childhood. i would give anything to share it right now. it has brightened my day beyond words.

Anonymous said...

Personally it helps me to know that there are others out there struggling too. It's tough to see everything happy going on around us all the time when our lives are so unsure at the moment. I don't feel like the lone ranger when others share their pain like you just did. Instead I feel comforted and not alone. *hugs* I'll pray for you.

Boysaplenty!! said...

I had a feeling this was why you hadn't posted, Julie. I wish you could just come over to visit and we would share a cup of coffee, share our hearts and share in prayer together. I am praying for you. Remember, He is an on-time God!! said...

We can't always be the encourager, sometimes we need to be encouraged as well! Remember God's plans are not our plans, we fit into His plans, not the other way around. God may have planned your garden for someone else that you may bless them with?
I am trying to learn to be used by God, though not always successfully! Count your blessings - we all have so much to be thankful for, don't we!


Unknown said...

dearest julie:i'm with pam, we would be there and we would be huddled, hearts bowed, salt down our cheeks and reaching out to touch the hem of His Garment!!i know, i know, i know!! you are being lifted up by many many soldiers of Christ! i love you and yours!katy

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TnFullQuiver said...

A heartfelt thank you to all who have taken time to share your heart in the comments. I am hanging on to each and every word spoken and to each and every prayer prayed. My heart is over flowing with gratitude.
grace and peace,

Anonymous said...

*hugs Julie*

Mountain Mama said...

Oh Sweet Julie, my friend! You are NOT a "downer". You have been an encouragement as you share your heart while walking through the "bumps" of life. We all have our "bumps" and it's all about what we do with them and how we handle them. You are loved!