Friday, August 27, 2010

Memories of a Father

It has been five years since I heard him laugh or felt the touch of his hand.  It has been five years since I looked into the beauty of his blue eyes or heard him call me Julie Bell.  This past year has found him in more of my thoughts than in times past.  I am sure that he has been there so often because it was a hard year, and when hard years come he was always a safe place.  I remember when I was just fifteen years old.  A small occurrence happened that seemed like the size of the universe to my young heart.  He was watching t.v. on the couch.  He called me to sit down beside him. I obeyed.  As soon as he put his arm around me, my tears flowed like a river.  He held me while I sat there and cried into his chest.  He promised me that my heart would heal soon, and he was right.  The feeling of safety that a Daddy's arms brings to a daughter never leaves... even when the Daddy leaves.  Where there once were silly phrases like, "Cat for to make a pair of kitty britches with" now all that are left are memories of a long ago childhood.  Memories that sometimes flood my mind and heart unexpectedly, and leave traces of tears running down my cheeks or laughter pouring from my lips.  My older children have their own memories of this man that they called Papaw.  My younger children have fewer memories of him.  And the youngest child of all only knows him through the stories that are told to him. 

But my memories are etched in my heart for a life time.  

grace and peace,
julie

6 comments:

LizBeth said...

You're so right.

Carmen C. said...

((BIG HUGS)) to you, all of our loved ones who have passed will always live on in our hearts, and we can relive those wonderful memories again and again:)

Nancy said...

Beautiful. I can so relate.

Marci said...

Big hugs to you Julie. It will be 5 years on Monday since I saw my Mom alive, although she did not die until October. I can so relate.

On the kitty britches... Our version went like this. If someone said to you, "What for?" You would say, "What fur? Cat fur to make a pair of kitty britches!!" I never heard anyone else who said anything like that. :)

Aimee said...

God bless you and thank you for this.

My parents are both alive, thank God, but still I was moved to tears. May the spirit and the memory of your father be always near to you and live forever in your heart

aimee

Walking on Sunshine... said...

I can so relate to this post! I lost my father 2 years ago and the ache and pain still surround me. With my hubby in Afghanistan all I can do is think of the two men that mean the world to me and neither of them are near me. I miss my father more and more each day. I was always his little girl and he always knew how to comfort me. I need some comforting now.

My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you have happy memories to bring smiles to your face!